Please feel free to express yourself at this site with all your opinions and views of what's going on in Cazenovia, the World or yourself. Fall is coming fast and Winter will be fast behind so I guess I have the end of Summer blahs. Am I the only one?
My daughter started school at Caz HS today and that was quite the anticipated event. I was proud of the way she handled herself this morning. Out the door 15 minutes early and all set to go. This will be her first year at the HS and I don't know what to expect. But I know everyone will do their best and that's all you can ask from anyone.
This is a tough time of year for myself. My beloved husband, Jose, passed away on August 25th 1993. His birthday was August 23rd and our wedding anniversary is September 5th. I have had alot of grief work to do over the past couple of weeks. The pain is so aweful, anyone out there know what I mean?
Then Mrs. G got murdered by her own flesh and blood on August 23rd of this year. What a major bummer!!! I hardly knew her but she was always nice to me. I lent her one of my widow books and she was so gracious in her thanks. Life makes no sense to me sometimes.
There were plenty of ugly fights in my family when I was growing up that could have ended badly and we didn't have the stress of any massive tragedy to cope with, so maybe it's not so out of the ordinary but it's hard to imagine what could have motivated such an accomplished young man to throw his future and his family away.
Grief is an overwhelming thing! At first when you lose your loved one it's very hard to come to terms with what that means. It's not like you go home and take a shower and change your clothes and that's the end of it. It really takes years to quantify what the loss really means. And in the beginning you are in such a state of shock and perhaps denial that it is hard to feel anything.
But over time it all comes home to you. I always refer to the triggers. Certain things that trigger the feelings. Like I referred to earlier, the important dates are big triggers. That's why I always try and plan things to do on those days so I don't have to sit at home and dwell on the feelings, I try to fill my mind with other things.
Talking about it and confronting the feelings helps. Because everytime you talk about it that's one time you've dealt with it. The next time will be easier and the next time will be easier still. Going to your favorite places is so unbelievably painful but everytime you go that's progress because you are doing the "grief work".
Grief work is a term that was new to me when I suffered my bereavement. But through experiences I had with my therapist, Girda Bodda, and at "Hope for the Bereaved" I came to the conclusion that Grief work was vital and had to be done if I was ever going to start living again. At "Hope for the Bereaved" I met a man, with two young daughters, who had lost his wife six and a half years earlier. He said that he never grieved his wife and his trip to the meeting that night was the first time he could talk about his wife's death. How sad is that!
My point is that when you are bereaved it's kinda like being ill. You need to take special care of yourself. You need to come to terms with the fact that that is a special time for you and you need special care. It's nothing to be embarassed about or ashamed about, human beings are designed to come to terms with the loss of their loved ones, but you have to do the grief work. It's the hardest work you'll ever have to do but it's the only way you'll "peel the onion" and get to the issues that are hurting you the most. And not unlike a physical ailment over time and with care you can heal.
Well that's my rant for today. What do you think? (about this or anything)
"They that love beyond the world, cannot be seperated.
Death cannot kill what never dies. Nor can Spirits ever be divided that love and live in the same Divine Principle; the Root and Record of their Friendship. Death is but crossing the world, as Friends do the seas; they live in one another still."
William Penn
Condolences to Terri, Bindy & Bob. Steve had such a huge personality I know he will be sorely missed.
My daughter started school at Caz HS today and that was quite the anticipated event. I was proud of the way she handled herself this morning. Out the door 15 minutes early and all set to go. This will be her first year at the HS and I don't know what to expect. But I know everyone will do their best and that's all you can ask from anyone.
This is a tough time of year for myself. My beloved husband, Jose, passed away on August 25th 1993. His birthday was August 23rd and our wedding anniversary is September 5th. I have had alot of grief work to do over the past couple of weeks. The pain is so aweful, anyone out there know what I mean?
Then Mrs. G got murdered by her own flesh and blood on August 23rd of this year. What a major bummer!!! I hardly knew her but she was always nice to me. I lent her one of my widow books and she was so gracious in her thanks. Life makes no sense to me sometimes.There were plenty of ugly fights in my family when I was growing up that could have ended badly and we didn't have the stress of any massive tragedy to cope with, so maybe it's not so out of the ordinary but it's hard to imagine what could have motivated such an accomplished young man to throw his future and his family away.
Grief is an overwhelming thing! At first when you lose your loved one it's very hard to come to terms with what that means. It's not like you go home and take a shower and change your clothes and that's the end of it. It really takes years to quantify what the loss really means. And in the beginning you are in such a state of shock and perhaps denial that it is hard to feel anything.
But over time it all comes home to you. I always refer to the triggers. Certain things that trigger the feelings. Like I referred to earlier, the important dates are big triggers. That's why I always try and plan things to do on those days so I don't have to sit at home and dwell on the feelings, I try to fill my mind with other things.
Talking about it and confronting the feelings helps. Because everytime you talk about it that's one time you've dealt with it. The next time will be easier and the next time will be easier still. Going to your favorite places is so unbelievably painful but everytime you go that's progress because you are doing the "grief work".Grief work is a term that was new to me when I suffered my bereavement. But through experiences I had with my therapist, Girda Bodda, and at "Hope for the Bereaved" I came to the conclusion that Grief work was vital and had to be done if I was ever going to start living again. At "Hope for the Bereaved" I met a man, with two young daughters, who had lost his wife six and a half years earlier. He said that he never grieved his wife and his trip to the meeting that night was the first time he could talk about his wife's death. How sad is that!
My point is that when you are bereaved it's kinda like being ill. You need to take special care of yourself. You need to come to terms with the fact that that is a special time for you and you need special care. It's nothing to be embarassed about or ashamed about, human beings are designed to come to terms with the loss of their loved ones, but you have to do the grief work. It's the hardest work you'll ever have to do but it's the only way you'll "peel the onion" and get to the issues that are hurting you the most. And not unlike a physical ailment over time and with care you can heal.
Well that's my rant for today. What do you think? (about this or anything)
"They that love beyond the world, cannot be seperated.Death cannot kill what never dies. Nor can Spirits ever be divided that love and live in the same Divine Principle; the Root and Record of their Friendship. Death is but crossing the world, as Friends do the seas; they live in one another still."
William Penn
Condolences to Terri, Bindy & Bob. Steve had such a huge personality I know he will be sorely missed.